Ted Cruz Shares His “Machine Gun” Bacon Recipe [VIDEO]

Though some may call it superfluous, ridiculous, or a waste of perfectly good ammo… Texas Sen. Ted Cruz calls it “cookin’ breakfast.” At Patriot Caller, we’ll call it what it really is: A shameless attempt to get the Republican presidential candidate some free publicity… as well as an apparent misuse of the term “machine gun.” Still, we do believe it’s important that you, the American voter, gets an opportunity to see your presidential candidates as they shoot a firearm. It just seems practical. If we’d seen the way President Obama handles a shotgun, would he have been elected? It’s hard […]

Will a Bite From This Snake Cost You $153 Thousand? [PICS]

QUESTION: Will a bite from the snake pictured above bankrupt you? It doesn’t take a herpetologist (reptile scientist) to know that it’s extremely dangerous to get too close to a rattlesnake. But even if you do survive a bite, what are the financial ramifications? Let’s just say that, if the venom doesn’t get you,  the hospital bill might scare you to death… ANSWER: Take a look at this hospital bill. It very well may shock you… Remember the Rattlesnake bite story I did Monday? Guy just sent me this pic of his bill. Uhhhhhhh….. pic.twitter.com/ahK2W9KxVg — Dan Haggerty (@10NewsHaggerty) July […]

Watch This Crazy Fisherman Hand Feed a Wild Snake [VIDEO]

Think snakes are dumb? Think again… The title of the YouTube video is literally “Dumb Snake,” which has got to be one of the most grossly inaccurate titles we’ve come across in a long time. This snake sits in the reeds, spots the man offering him a free fish, and swims on over nonchalantly for a free lunch. For a human, this behavior might be seen as “dumb,” but for a snake? RELATED: 10 Incredible Snake Videos You Can NEVER “Unsee” As best we can tell, this snake has been trained, or conditioned rather, to climb up on a small pier […]

But Can Your Guard Dog Do THIS? [VIDEO]

Canines are one of the best security systems you could ever install in your home, for both detection and deterrence. Plus, how many other security systems are happy to see you when you get home? But if you’re just looking at your family pet as a security feature, you’re missing out on a lot of other free services you could be getting — just throw ’em a couple of bones once in awhile! RELATED: Top 5 Best Guard Dog Breeds The blue heeler in this video can easily round up a heard, retrieve game, and probably even take your keys to drive […]

How to Make DIY Waterproof Matches [Step-by-Step]

Wet matches are a major annoyance in ideal conditions. But when you’re in desperate need of a fire, in rainy or snowy conditions let’s say, wet matches are a complete disaster. Don’t let this disaster befall you! Using this simple method from our friends at the Sierra Trading Post, you can make your own waterproof matches with just a few minutes of work. It makes for a great lazy Saturday afternoon project. And its a whole lot more rewarding (and more self-sufficient) than going to REI to buy stormproof backpacking matches.

Top 15 Incredible and Hilarious Redneck Automotive Innovations [PICS]

Duct-tape craftsmanship and artisanal baling wire are two of our favorite hobbies here at The Patriot Caller. And of course, we believe it would be foolhardy to suggest that WD-40 is NOT an integral part of the solution to every problem mankind has ever faced… It’s amazing what you can do (or do without) when you put your mind to it and engage in a little, ummm… resourcefulness? Lots of our readers are interested in leading more self-reliant lifestyles, or even going off-the-grid. While others among us are (you know who you are) are just incredibly cheap, and refuse to pay professionals to […]

How to Open a Can in 30 Seconds Without a Can Opener [No Tools Required]

One of the fundamentals of any SHTF crisis plan is, of course, an emergency food stockpile. Of all of the stockpiles we’ve seen over the years, 99.99% of them include canned food. The vast majority of those with a self-reliance mindset do think of the obvious need for a manual can opener. However, it’s the type of detail that can easily fall through the cracks, or break, or get misplaced… In the event that you need to open a can without an opener, in an emergency or even on a camping trip, there are basically two types of methods: The […]

How to Catch and Bag a 6-Foot Rattlesnake [VIDEO]

In our opinion, there’s really no reason to ever put a living rattlesnake in a bag, ever. But thousands of rattlesnake roundup fanatics around the US would disagree. For some, the thrill of capturing live venomous snakes is apparently worth the risks. RELATED: This is What 5,000lbs of Rattlesnakes Looks Like [VIDEO] In this video, professional rattlesnake hunter  Tim Fitzer demonstrates the process and safety measures he’s developed over a lifetime of capturing these snakes. But this video isn’t just a simple how-to, Fitzer is demonstrating his prowess on a very strong 6-foot snake!

How to Blow Yourself Up While Trying to Start a Bonfire [VIDEO]

When it comes to YouTube videos that begin with someone saying “ready to rock” and “big-a$$ bonfire, take one,” there are typically only two positive outcomes. First, many viewers will learn an important lesson without putting themselves in any life-threatening danger. Second, we’ll most likely see something that’s going to make us laugh uncontrollably, even if it’s in a slightly guilty manner. As you can imagine, we’re huge fans of unusual or innovative fire starting methods. But when this guy decided to substitute gasoline for creativity, let’s just say the result was highly volatile. RELATED: How to Start a Fire with Urine […]

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How to Cook Steaks With Molten Lava [VIDEO]

There’s a virtually unlimited number of ways to cook a steak. And as long as the end result is cooked to perfection and safe to eat, they’re all pretty cool in our book. Still, the steak cooking technique pioneered by this team of… whatever they are (scientists? engineers? culinary students?) is among the most outrageously cool methods we’ve seen. Don’t you agree? RELATED: How to Cook Bacon and Eggs in a Paper Bag [VIDEO] We can’t image the emergency scenario in which you might have to rely on molten lava to cook your meals. But just in case you ever do […]